FIC: That can’t be right.

[citrus-lime.livejournal.com]

Title: That can’t be right.
Author: twistedm
Prompt: Easy A - Neville is being bullied for being a virgin, and Harry pretends to sleep with him to get people off Neville's back. Harry does this with several more people, and soon gets a reputation. Draco wants a piece of Harry, too, not knowing that Harry is still a virgin.
Word Count: 16,000
Rating: NC-17
Contains (Highlight to view):
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Epilogue compliant?:  No
Summary: Wherein Harry and Draco both discover that some things are just not what one expects.
Beta by: sesheta_66
Author’s note: In this fic, everyone is bisexual. Everyone knows it. No one thinks much of it. Otherwise the prompt wouldn’t really happen for me!
Dear leontinabowie, you said you dislike crack, which meant I had to take this cute, fun prompt seriously. Luckily, I was eager to! It did mean, however, that I was unable to follow your prompt to the letter. I should also warn that Draco’s internal fantasy life turned out to be a bit… dramatic. It isn’t crack if it’s a wank fantasy, right?
I do hope this works for you despite all of that. :)

Read on AO3

Comments

[leontinabowie.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing my prompt :D

I loved it, how you made it funny even avoiding crack fic. But it wasn't all comedy, there was heart to it, too :) Draco's wank fantasies were fun - what fantasy isn't dramatic :D

A fun and entertaining read, thank you ♥

[gracerene]

Oh this was such fun to read! I loved that bit of Harry and Neville, before they realized there was no spark. And the rumors getting out of control was perfect. And then Draco's wank fantasies! OMG I could not stop giggling, they were so perfect. I mean, who hasn't imagined having their own troop of well-hung & dedicated guards that they can have ravish them whenever they choose? LOL, awesome read. :D

[fantasyfiend09.livejournal.com]

I loved Draco's imaginary crown. What a great way to convey how confident he is feeling and the way he tries to portray himself to the world! I just loved those moments when he looked for this crown or realized he'd dropped it in the corridor.

I loved Draco's wank fantasies! Oh my goodness! They were three porny ficlets neatly tucked into this fic, and it was (for this reader) like biting into a chocolate only to discover a cherry liqueur center! There liqueur centers! But with porn!

I think what I really want to say is that your Draco was amazing and oh so realistically a randy teenage boy. Not that Harry wasn't lovely, and Neville, but Draco stole the show for me.

[cloelockless2.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, the whole story was ridiculously funny but this line: "Then Merlin shined his heavenly light upon them, Salazar Slytherin clapped Gryffindor on the shoulder, cute angels sang, and Harry and Draco’s cocks were rubbing hard against one another. It was without any question the best sensation in the history of nerve endings." I can't even.
XD
I also loved Neville and Harry's date. (And Harry and Draco in the bathroom *o*, and Draco's second fantasy XD)

[groolover.livejournal.com]

I loved this :-) Hilariously funny and ridiculously hot!

[huldrejenta.livejournal.com]

This was loads of fun, and most fun of all might just be Draco's fantasies ! They were hilarious :D
(Oh, and the first part of the fic kind of made me crave some Harry/Neville fic, haha :))
Great and super fun fic!

[zeitgeistic.livejournal.com]

Draco might technically still be a virgin, but he was nonetheless certain that he was simply one hot man from being the most fantastic lover imaginable.

One of the many lines that so perfectly illustrated Draco's voice here. I laughed so hard at his fantasies!